Fun and Loathing in Las Vegas (with apologies to Hunter S. Thompson)

We were somewhere around a fake white naked statue (or maybe it was a faux Roman mural or an ersatz Egyptian barge) on the edge of Caesars when the lack of sleep began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit light-headed; maybe you should take another look at your phone…it must be just past that guy in the diaper or the lightly clad girl dancing in a cage over there…” And suddenly we were outside and there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge white wet sheets, all swooping and screeching “Do It” and diving around  the taxi, which was going about a hundred inches an hour what with the Celine Dion concert getting underway.  And a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn people?”

Then it was quiet again.  My colleague had taken her sensible sweater off and was pouring green tea from her flask down her gullet. “What the hell are you yelling about?” she muttered, staring up at the sun with her eyes closed and covered with pink publisher swag sunglasses.  “Never mind,” I said and grabbed my Iphone to do a quick Instagram before aiming us toward the not-the-Eiffel-tower Tower.  No point mentioning the sad women selling bottles of cold water, I thought. The poor thing will see them soon enough.

It was almost five, and we still had more than a hundred casinos to go.  They would be tough casinos.  Very soon, I knew, we would both be completely twisted. But then there was no going back and no time to rest. We would have to tough it out. The 2014 ALA Annual Convention Exhibits were already open and, for good or ill,  we had  to get there to grab as many ARCs as our rolling carts could hold.

 

ETA: I had a lot of fun really! — ate well, gawked a lot, won $25.10 at the slots, went to Red Rock Canyon, and had fun seeing friends as my roommate fairrosa notes in the comments. This is a parody of Thompson’s first few paragraphs of Fear and Loathing in Vegas that I thought would be fun to do as it undoubtedly expresses many people’s feelings.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Fun and Loathing in Las Vegas (with apologies to Hunter S. Thompson)

  1. fairrosa

    Didn’t sound like you had any fun at all — c’mon – you won $25.00 at the slot — and the Newbery/Caldecott banquet was a fine affair, and within the exhibit hall, great things are still happening — and both BFYA and Notables discussions are energetic and full of thoughtful comments. Not to mention connecting and reconnecting with authors, librarians, educators, and publishing people. (And the FOOD quality is generally high!)

  2. My husband and I love talking about being outside of Barstow when the bats appeared. I had to read him the post. We both loved it! Thanks!

  3. Hilarious. And accurate.

  4. Sam Bloom

    Oh, well done, Monica!

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