Review of Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars

Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars premiered on the Disney Channel this past Friday.  Feeling it was churlish to moan about it without seeing it I DVRd it and watched it yesterday.  So now let me roll up my sleeves and begin.  (And if Ms. Fitzhugh is reading this from on high — only do so if you want a laugh.)

So you’ve got Harriet, a rather pleasant high school student and her two friends, Janie and Sport. You’ve also got Marion and entourage. All in a Gossip-Girlish-looking high school, but without a smidgen of sex, amour, anything of that sort. No, no, no; they are all wholesome kids being mean in the mildest and Disneyish way.  We get brief vignettes of Janie and Sport being Janie and Sport (sort of) and a few more of Harriet spying (and I have to say the one with the painter is very creepy because it is about him preying on women, but of course it is totally unsexual as this is Disney), Marion rolling eyes, some bantering with the cook/trainer about tomato sandwiches, and various other similar badly-done references to the original book.

Notebooks, check. Disinterested parents, check.  Ole Golly, che…er…OMG…Golly, as she is now known, looks to be about five years older than Harriet and dresses more or less the same (well, no short private school skirt, but you get the picture, I hope).  I could deal with the kids being in high school and being so flattened out, but (Ole) Golly turned into a deadly dull drippy Nanny Diary ish nanny?  Who **spoiler** leaves Harriet to take over a coffee bar?  Jeez.

So anyway, Harriet is in a very lovely private school where there is to be a competition for a “class blogger.”  Evidently there is a tradition for one student in the class to write a blog just for the class.  Harriet and Marion are selected to vie for this; whoever produces posts that get the most hits and comments wins.  As a teacher in a very lovely private school who has been blogging with her students for some years this rang so false I can’t even tell you. It was lame, lame, lame. Schools do not do this.  They do not, they do not, they do not.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  So okay, I got that off my chest.

Now we go even further into the depths of horrid book adaptations.  Harriet’s father is now a movie producer and is doing one with a teen heart-throb.  Long story short — Harriet stalks the guy to get stuff for her blog to get the necessary hits to win.  Shenanigans on set and off ensue. Harriet is revealed as having exaggerated her relationship with the star and all are mad at her.  More stuff happens, more hijinks, and finally all is sorted out.  Harriet becomes class blogger, check.  Harriet’s friends come back to her, check.  Harriet’s parents hug her, check.  Golly hugs her, check.  Movie magazines hug her, check.  The end.

Final recommendation:  don’t bother.

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15 Comments

Filed under Movies

15 responses to “Review of Harriet the Spy: Blog Wars

  1. Oh, dear. Sounds more like iCarly than the book version of Harriet! Thanks for watching for the rest of us.

  2. kelsi

    ok I watched the movie it was worse than you said the plot was bad the actors didn’t fit the role Harriet what ever her real name is doesn’t play the role right golly and the coffee shop owner sound too much like they were engaged and why would she be at his house Harriets dad would have caught her at the set and Marrion wouldn’t have been able to take the video off the blog and the teacher was too strict looking the commercial made it sound weird and who calls their friend sport that something a dad would call his 5 year old son the chance of enjoyment for this movie is 0-none

  3. c18mt

    Hey its me in Tokyo! I didnt see the movie. But It looked kind of okay. Though great review!

    • Robyn 'Whojustlostherdignitybywatchingthismovie' Thornton

      The movie is gay. End of. Never good, never will be good. However much they edit that damn stupid film with the gay actors and actresses.

  4. Leila

    Yow. Thank you so much for watching it so that I don’t have to. Ever.

  5. (via bookshelves of doom)

    I am sure this was probably a lovely idea. And maybe some 8-12 year old girls really liked it.

    But why do they have to take an idea that is already well loved and screw it up this way? Why couldn’t they just have made this movie about Ashley and her friends Kayla and Hunter (very common names in my area)? Why did they have to make it about Harriet?

    Bummer.

  6. (Via Bookshelves of Doom)

    Also sending along my thanks for suffering through this on behalf of all of us…

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  9. asta

    people are not what they seem

  10. What are your theories on deja vu?

  11. I LOVE YOUR BLOG’S I’M A BIG FAN OF YOUR’S.

    Baylie C. Lang

  12. Robyn 'Whojustlostherdignitybywatchingthismovie' Thornton

    I first achknoladged that Disney were desprete the moment they opened a channel. And they proved that point by having Miley Cyrus on that channel, and also making lame ass movies with actors (actresses) that look like they just found them in a ‘Hasbeen,neverbeen’ Home for actors and actresses. I also watched this movie about half an hour into the movie, I decided that this was a whole bollocks of time. After the whole movie me, myself and everyone who actually ever watched this movie had lost they’re dignity forever. So if you haven’t seen this film. I do NOT recommend it. If you have a bone to pick with me because you like it and I don’t, I strongly recommend you e-mail me so we can work out the date when I’m going to kick you’re ass.

  13. samina i like jason and paul and sufina and emma and marcus and stephen and yusuf and repha and farzeen and syed-ul and helen and

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